Posted by: theboyfromsmallville | October 27, 2006

Thank you

I hate celebrating my birthdays.
If I had my way, I’d have celebrated my birthday under the sheets, wrapped in the cold blue-gray air of my flat. I would have simply counted the hours and waited for the passage of that one day in this world that reminds you of your mortality.
There’s hardly any point to it, right?
It’s like you’re counting your way to your grave.
Why don’t you just get it over with and push a 50-pound rock off the cliff with your neck tied to it.?
You don’t even have to spend for people who greet you in the hopes of knocking off a free lunch or something.

Some people, though, refused to leave me be on my birthday.
Some of them raided my house, forced me at gunpoint to get dressed and pushed me into an unmarked cab that whisked me to the Inquirer office on the one day I picked to be alone.
My blood was boiling like un indistinguishable brew in a witch’s cauldron and continued to do so until I realized one thing.

I actually loved what they did for me.

I should be able to post  someday the DVD video those people presented to me as a gift. A video that contained greetings from those who simply refused to let my birthday pass without being a part of my day.
Friends who prepared a surprise for me and then paid for their own lunch when the surprise was over.

Thank you, all.

Thanks, Fran, for your rendition of a song that people are now trying to peel away from the inner layers of their brain because they’ve been wonderfully afflicted with LSS.
Thanks Irene Andrea and Allison, for the song and dance number of my favorite school hymn of all time. Yes, Allison, the prim and proper princess of the lifestyle section ditched her dignified countenance to sing in front of a videocam. And Irene Andrea risked her reputation by doing a (mis) interpretative dance of what Alli sang.
Thanks Jim Guiao and Kuya Rhandy, the two corners of a controversial triangle. Special thanks to Don Jaime, for helping out in the logistical aspect of producing the video (read: driver-cameraman-PA-tagapunas ng pawis)
Thanks J, bestfriend, basketball teammate and drinking buddy. No, the card trick will be a secret I will carry to my grave.
Thanks bandmates. Yes, we will continue to create songs that will continue to go unheard.
Thanks Kat, for providing the person responsible for making the video with a lot of valuable technical and muscle support during the filming stages.
Thanks Peach. Seeing your face and that adorable little smile of Cheska nearly made me lose my composure in a roomful of people.
And thanks Frances Leila. Your face appearing on the screen was a welcome surprise. And yes, the world stopped a moment when you started speaking.

And to all the rest who greeted me through the video, thanks.

And here’s to the three people who really made my day.

Thanks, Alexa. Evil genius. Twin sister. And everything in between.
Yes, the time that the Power of Three spends together has dwindled considerably, owing to the directions our lives have taken in the recent days.
But we will have our moments, however few and far in between they are. It’s just a matter of getting our schedules worked out. Besides, it doesn’t have to be strictly the Power of Three, right? Our extensions are more than welcome in these gatherings.
One day, we will work this out.
Yes, the things you left unsaid were things I know of, even if you hadn’t sent the words chasing after me via text message.
I need no assurances from you. Your existence is my assurance. Just as I can promise you that by my waking up every morning and breathing, you must be assured that there will always be somebody looking out for you.
Keep that in mind always.

Thanks Baby Faye. Baby. Bestfriend. And the walking, breathing journal of my life.
How you continue to carry the burden of my secrets while bearing your own cross confounds me. You are too young to be that strong and yet, there you are.
You cry in two places and two places alone. In the privacy of your dark solitude and on the comfort my shoulder provides.
You taught me to do the same.
You could have just smiled for the camera and I would have understood what you meant.
One of these days, you will be gone from that world where nobody hurts, nobody cries. One of these days, fate will tear you away from me.
But no one can ever shred Smallville. No one can crush the world that you and I first created. Because the people we allowed into it will continue living there, waiting for your return.

And to you, baby sister.
What else is there to say that the silence that passes between us during idle, quiet moments hasn’t yet said?
It was not enough that you picked up every fiber of sadness during the darkest days of my life and shed the tears that I should have shed.
It was not enough that you held me up despite my adamant decision to spiral into the dungeons of despair.
It was not enough that you made it your mission to put a smile on my face and the laughter back in my voice.
You had to put in every drop of effort into a project you knew had a high risk of failure.
Oh yes, I know you knew.
I know you too much to know that the geographical requirements, the late night editing, the on-the-dot appointment-keeping with people whose scheduled clashed with yours like head-on trains traveling on the same railway line were the least of your worries.
You put together the video knowing there was a 99% chance that I would see past the faces and the voices of those who were on the screen and stare straight into the one person who wasn’t there.
You knew you could have ended up being hurt. Frustrated.
And yet, you robbed yourself of sleep, wove filming and editing schedules into your day job and your personal life and went on with the project.
When you finished it, you did the hardest job of all. The one that Don Jaime and Kat could not help you with. You held your breath.
And just so I would be honest with you, yes, there was one person I expected to be there in the video.
But here’s the one thing you probably don’t know.
She actually appeared on the video.
Alone. Inside a cluttered room. In the solitude of the late, late night. She was blurting out anecdotes about her big brother. She was telling him how much she loved him.
If only big brother were there, he’d probably tell you to press stop on the remote control. There was no need to say those things.
In his hearts of hearts, he knows you care. He knows what you feel because he feels the same for you.
We will have our arguments in the future. Big ones. Nasty, tear-filled ones. But nothing will ever make us reach for hate.
Nothing will ever stop big brother from taking care always of that impish, loving, spoiled little baby sister.
I am not as showy as you are. But in the video in your mind, I will be there, telling you that no matter what happens, I will always, always take your side.

Thank you.

Smallville's favorite son turns a year older

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Responses

  1. ack! hindi na naman ako makahinga.
    hehe.
    at kahit nilabag mo na naman ang batas kong bawal mag-“thank you”, sige na nga, you’re welcome.
    sinabi na nga kasing kahit ano para sa’yo eh.
    ang kulet.
    oo ‘no, kahit gawin namin ‘to ten times over.
    kulang pa nga ‘yan.

    may isa lang akong regret (well, among other things, that is): 32 KA NA PALA AT HINDI 31! 32! 32! 32! nasabi ko pa naman sa lahat ng kaibigan mo, 31 ka lang!

  2. 28. kulet.
    :-)

  3. Francis,
    First and foremost, I am not prim and proper (but I like the princess part, haha).
    Second, I know the hymn by heart, but Andrea’s hand movements distracted the hell out of me.
    Third, I’m glad you loved our retarded act. We made it especially for special kids like you. :p
    Happy boinkday! Now you can forget about the early part of this year. Haha.

  4. your little sis is right. anything for you! it was all worth it after seeing you smile that day.
    actually, i kinda felt sad reading this entry. i might not be here for your birthday next year (heck, i might have to miss everybody else’s birthday next year!) and all i could think about is how much i am going to miss all of these. of course, i’m going to miss you, too!
    i love you!

    p.s.
    don’t worry. i’ll let you know when you should stop talking to me.

  5. i was about to strip for the birthday video but dindin turned the camcorder off. tsk.

  6. i had to text you that message because i was too shy to say it to the cam. *blush*

    thanks, cois. i know with you i won’t ever have to feel alone. i won’t ever have to find my place.


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