Posted by: theboyfromsmallville | June 8, 2007

Futsal or death

My horoscope said that this being the year that I will be thrust into new responsibilities, I should learn to balance it by trying out new ways to relax.

Okay. I just made that up.

I don’t really read horoscopes and I have as much faith in them as I have in Pag-asa’s weather forecasts.

I just wanted to get it through that A) In case you haven’t read the Inquirer sports pages recently, I just got promoted. And B) I would really, really like to get that much talked-about wasak futsal season started.

Hello.

People.

Wasakrew.

Anybody out there?

We were supposed to raid some Libis joint for midnight futsal sessions, right?

Work-related stress is starting to eat me up from the inside and it has started to manifest itself physically.

Someone I shared dinner with recently took a look at my forehead and the first thing she uttered was: “We are now making our final approach at the runway of the Ninoy Aquino International Airport.”

And the calorie count in my body’s counting upwards faster than a runaway cab on the Skyway.

Boxing’s on hold for the next two weeks and my daily dose of Monday night basketball isn’t doing the job anymore.

Either we start hitting the futsal field or I croak.

And I’m not ready to die yet. People say you’re ready to die if at least 10 people can drop by your wake and say something nice about you.

Yeah. There’ll be a thousand people at my wake. But not to speak glowing words about me. They will drop by to make sure that I am dead. And stay dead. Yeah, YOU INCLUDED and I heard that, you know?

Bitterness aside, to get us started, I brushed up a little on futsal rules. And I realized that organized futsal is a five-a-side (not seven as I know-it-all-ingly and pompously announced as if I were an expert on the issue during that La Union trip) indoor version of football that, when played by pros and veterans looks like this:

And when played by a bunch of bored, sunburnt, surf-drained, water-clogged amateurs looks like this:

And it is played here:

Although, as many of you who got sweetly burned by the northern sun while trying to ride the fickle waves of the La Union coastline will agree that there can be no nays when the—arr!—cap’n asks fer a show of hends and all ye in favor of play’ng foosal here:

Say aye!

A chorus of “aye, cap’n’s”?

There are a variation of fouls in futsal. You cannot kick an opponent. You cannot hold your opponent or intentionally impede his progress on the court. Yes, viciousbloodthirstykitten, intentionally is not well-defined, hence open to interpretation.

Which means, there’s a chance you can go screaming in blood-curdling fashion “kuyog!” and get away with it, perhaps? It’s all a matter of sorting the rules out before the flip-coin determines who starts the game.

The game is started by a kick-in and opponents are supposed to stay five meters from the initial kicker of the other team.

This, then, is not allowed during kick-ins:

And speaking of kuyog?

 

This will be allowed to a certain extent before physical pain demands that if you kick me one more time, THERE WILL BE PENALTY KICKS!.

Penalty kicks are for fouls committed in the penalty area. In such cases, it’s a designated striker against the goalie, mano-a-mano. A goalie is someone who guards the net just like this (look at dork in pink):

No. You are not allowed to attack a fallen goalie like this:

So there.

Pretty simple rules really. Then again, when have we ever paid attention to rules when an opportunity to kick, maim, scream, laugh and stretch those lungs hardened by coatings upon coatings of nicotine presents itself?

So, people.

What say we go futsal?

Or die.
 

Advertisements

Responses

  1. LET US GO FUTSAL!!!

    rawwwwwwrrrrrrrrr.

  2. Futsal we go!!!

    KUYOOOOOOOOOOG!!!

  3. taraaaaa!!! futsaaaaallll!!!
    pwedeng sa la union ulit? hehe! o kaya sa beach! masakit ata pag totoong futsal field eh. awwww!

  4. goalie ulit ako ha? wooohooo!

  5. huhuhu *sniff*

    go team! go team! go go go!!!

    (wala eh, pang-cheer lang muna talaga)

  6. babysis: hehehehe. rawr na rawr mode ka talaga.
    junjun: kaw nga promotor nito eh.
    kat: beach futsal! yeah, goalie ka ulit.
    rissa: defy docs’ orders!

  7. *rofl*

    ang sayaaaaaaaaaaa go futsal!!!

    pero wag na nating seryosohin yung rules, mas masaya pag may kuyog e =))

  8. this post is GOLD, i tell you. we should print it out and post it in our respective places. hahaha :) you are lab cois *kish* let’s kick some ass!

  9. cy: agree, agree. to hell with rules! let’s just futsal!
    kate: kish*kish! tara! kick-ass time!

  10. SABIHAN NYO LANG KUNG SINO KUKUYUGIN. KUYOOOOOOOOOG! T*NGINA MAG-HEHELMET AKO. *wipes blood on my mouth*

  11. Andrea: hehehe para sa yo talaga itong post na ito eh. hahahahaha!

  12. galingan nyo ang praktis… para mas magaling na kayo sa akin sa susunod na laban! futsa, baka isang balik lang hingal na ako dyan!

  13. classmate!
    uban ra gud, nya duwa dayon ba. aron mo niwang na sab ta. hehehe.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: