Posted by: theboyfromsmallville | January 11, 2008

Bits and pieces

I’m supposed to appear on Boy Abunda’s show soon. Something about my 2010 presidential bid. Apparently, somebody caught wind of this post on this site and decided to include me in the list of guests for the show, which will include other “presidentiables” from the Philippines.

That the said blog appeared on the feast day of the Black Nazarene, where two devotees died, must mean something right? Something holy? A divine sign, perhaps? Right?

I’m really looking forward to that interview.

In the meantime, there are a few items worth writing about. And, as the fabulously gay character of Rupert Everett in that old Julia Roberts movie once said, by god, there will be dancing.

Like, for instance.

Sportswriting may not be high on the list of career priorities among young people nowadays.

After all, money-wise, it doesn’t earn you as much as lawyering, priesthood, politics, prostitution or brokering anomalous government-to-government deals.

Intellectual satisfaction? It’s not like you’re a rocket scientist or a nuclear physicist. 

And, as much as you can brag about being in the journalism business, you’re really not going to save the world, prevent wars or promote peace.

 Wake up. It’s sportswriting. And like that same Julia Roberts movie said: It ain’t a grown-up’s job.

 * * *

Still, it has its perks.

Among which is this, which proves that surfers are uber hot, a woman with a cue stick can drop jaws even before she fires a single shot, the LPGA turned boring golf into eye candy and females in track and field can turn heads, too.

Oh, and that in the tennis world, Maria Sharapova rocks. And that sometimes, being a golf club ain’t that bad.

but why settle for a golf club?

* * *

That link made me wonder: Who are the sexiest female athletes in the Philippines?

* * *

Anyway, speaking of sexy. There are about a hundred cardio equipment pieces in Gold’s Gym. There’s a slew of exercise machines targetting specific muscle areas. And there are free weights too.

So, armed with a freebie GC for a year’s membership, what does a fat-stuffed guy with no joints, no trace of coordination and two left feet do first when he steps into the posh workout club?

He slips into a fitness room and joins a streetdance class.

And somewhere in the sea of graceful, sweat-soaked dancers was the Michelin Man…

…only this time, he was flapping his arms haphazardly, contorting his hips to impossible angles and shuffling his feet awkwardly. Kinda like frantically yelling for help. While drowning in the middle of the ocean.

Believe me. This…

 

…has a lot more grace than fatso had.

* * *

Yeah, fatso was me.

So, why’d I even decide to join the class?

Because someone promised unbridled sex afterwards. Complete with handcuffs and leather whips.

* * *

There were a few snickers after class ended. Mostly directed toward moi.

I can’t blame them. There were mirrors everywhere so even while tucking myself comfortably into the confines of back row, I still stood out like a neon sign in a deserted back alley.

* * *

Of course, I had my consolation. More than the promise of a wild night.

I looked at the other males in the room and believe me, I’d bitch-slap their butts like they were rented Baguio ponies if they even stepped into a basketball court with yours truly.

Of that, I am certain.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. okay that 25 sexiest link will keep me busy for most of today.

    … after i get off the shock re: having gaby dela merced in this morning’s read along session, that is.

  2. you signed up for dancing class???!

    excuse me while i laugh my head off. hahahhahahahhahahahahahhaha!

    :-D

  3. aaaaaaaa that photo. will stay in my head for months. pucha.

  4. kate: yeah, gaby should head the Filipinop version of that list, no?

    alex: like i said, i got something in return. but go ahead, laugh your head off. you should’ve seen the real thying though. even i laughed my head off.

    rissa: okay, you were referring to which picture again?

  5. shempre yung michelin. anoba.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: