Posted by: theboyfromsmallville | February 9, 2008

This is what we spend most of our time doing

CONTRARY to popular belief, it’s not always raunchy, sado-masochistic, hard-core, slap-me-hard-who’s-your-daddy-crank-that-shard-spiked-whip sex.

Every now and then, when the moon turns blue and the northern lights watercolor the night skies, the UP Cum Laude and I do find something else to do.

We watch movies, for one. A lot of movies.

In fact, the target for this year is 100 movies.

Evenings, the ones where shacking up is not on the menu, are spent trying to grammar- and spell-check the last open pages of the Inquirer in a jiffy in the hopes of catching the last full show at Greenbelt. Our batting average is fairly good.  Out of every five attempts, we do manage to catch a movie or two. The rest? We just spend our nights collecting jackpot tickets at the TimeZone trivia contest.

So far we are on track for the big 100. And the only way, it seems, that we will miss out on that target is if Hollywood churns out utter idiocy at a rather alarming rate for the next 10 months.

Even then, we’ve set the bar pretty low. We did go to the movies during the FilmFest week, so, you know. 

Just no more of this:

Please.

Anyway, thus far we have gone through the year’s first six weeks watching 13 movies. And because I do not think I will still be updating my multiply-capsule-reviews, allow me to run you through the list and my take on it .

*critic mode on*

Here goes: [Title (stars, five the highest)–capsule review]

Desperadas (1)–Hah! Yeah. That low, the bar. Too much Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives tones. Nothing original. And no, Marimar girl ain’t cute.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2.5)–Enjoyable. It just calls for too much suspension of disbelief. Without offering suspension cables to help you out.

I Am Legend (4)–I don’t care how far off it is from the book. Will Smith rocks. There is no Will Smith overdose in the movie. He is legend. Plus, Bob Marley? Rocks.

Bee Movie (3)–But why didn’t they just make Jerry Seinfeld do stand-up? I don’t think kids are going to double over in laughter or fill the movie with thigh-slapping guffaws over Seinfeld punchlines.

Sweeney Todd: The demon barber of Fleet Street (4)–Tom Cruise, this is how you flesh out a role with passion without appearing to be you-complete-me-Oscar-whoring; lesson courtesy of Johnny Depp.

Alvin and the Chipmunks (2)–The Chipmunks singing “Bad Day?” Heelarious. And then downhill after that. Bonus star’s for Theodore.

Heartbreak Kid (2.5)–Ben Stiller’s still cool. The movie just doesn’t quite live up to the coolness.

Alien vs Predator 2 (1.5)–I was really hoping for more Alien vs Predator scenes with chopped human torsos on the side because the first one kinda disappointed me. Unfortunately, the second one failed to be better.

PS I Love You (2.5)–Too, well, scattered. And you kinda ended up spending the rest of the movie waiting for Gerard Butler to scream: Tonight, we dine in hell! Great cast, though.

Rambo 4 (1)–OOh. Yeah. Blood. Gore. Limbs ripped apart. Intestines falling to the ground. And–WTF!#–a moral of the story? Sheesh.

27 Dresses (1.5)–No chemistry. Too bad, the premise was quite promising.

The Darjeeling Ltd. (3.5)–I mean, hell, it is Adrien Brody. Plus, ditching the baggages while chasing the train? Cool, albeit obvious, visual metaphor. And. And. And: “Train of thought?” Woohooo!

Good Luck Chuck (1.5)–There were boobies everywhere! Even Jessica Alba flashed a little flesh. But if there was a story somewhere all of the sex, I didn’t quite find it.

We didn’t get to watch American Gangster because of a one-week hiatus to entertain a guest. And We skipped Cloverfield because someone warned me the camera movements were vertigo-inducing.

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Responses

  1. oy no! do try to catch cloverfield. it’s actually … OK, it’s just that i know some people who felt like throwing up after watching it. i, for my part, did not feel anything.

  2. ahah! got yah!

    it is very, very nice to start a movie review entry with this kind of introduction!

    way to go, biboy!

    (lagot ka sa ‘kin!)

  3. pucha ibig sabihin mali mali MALI ang aking belief? (contrary kamo to popular belief e)

    boo hoo color me disappointed.

    haha joke lang ga.

  4. hahahahaha! okay lang, ga, wala naman akong magagawa dahil blog nya ‘to eh. hahahaha! =))

    pwede na nga akong magpalit ng career. lagi akong may plugging dito. ;)

  5. On 27 Dresses – Yeah, I agree. I was hoping too much from this movie but it failed me.

    Di ko rin pinanood ang Cloverfield because of some reviews.

    You should try watching “The Mist”… and maybe “Juno” :-)

  6. […] This is what we spend most of our time doing […]


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