Posted by: theboyfromsmallville | July 1, 2009

New Transformers movie is Nowitzkirrific

I’m going to go against the grain on this one.

The new Transformers movie, the one they call Revenge of the Fallen? Loved it.

Just about every writer that I respect and every blog that I bother to read bashed the movie until it was reduced to a heap of scrap metal. While I normally nod in agreement at every argument these writers and bloggers make, I will make an exception this time around.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Michael Bay’s latest grand-scale Hasbro commercial, is not just a good movie.

It’s a great movie. Four-stars-out-of-five great. Eight-in-a-scale-of-10 great.

And I don’t say that as a popcorn flick fan who gives the thumbs up at every movie that stretches endlessly and fills in the gaps between dialogues with exploding robots that transform into cars and airplanes. I say it as a serious movie buff who thinks Anthony Hopkins delivered a spectacularly disturbing performance as a flesh-munching psycho in Silence of the Lambs.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is Dirk Nowitzki great.

Wait, who?

Dirk Nowitzki. That 7-foot aberration of a basketball player who will one day be enshrined in the basketball Hall of Fame.

call him irk, coz he ain't got D

See, the biggest knock on Revenge of the Fallen is that its plot stinks. Critics say Michael Bay took an iconic classic and messed it up badly like a kid who got an entire Transformers set on Christmas Day and dressed all the robots up in Barbie clothes.

Bay flunked in the continuity aspect and drilled loopholes into a storyline that defied logic. Riiiiiight. Scoop loaders, excavators and bulldozers transform into robots that can also unite to form the badass Devastator and we worry about logic-defying storylines. Woohoo!

How can you knock a movie’s plot if it doesn’t have a plot in the first place?

How many times have you heard basketball purists among American journalists bashing Dirk Nowitzki’s defensive abilities? With those long arms, they say, he should be good for a couple of blocked shots or more. And at 7-foot tall? How come puny 6-footers like Steve Nash pop teardrops on him as often as cops accept bribes?

Drill this through your skulls: Dirk Nowitzki has no defense. You can’t criticize something that doesn’t exist.  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has no plot. Period.

And guess what these purists did in 2007? They made Nowitzki the NBA Most Valuable Player. Defense may be an integral part of a player’s package. It’s the one coaches preach about the most. But soft 7-footers who are afraid to bang bodies inside can be great basketball players, too.

Who’s to deny plot-less movies the same level of greatness?

Bay could’ve focused the Transformers movie on how a tearful Bumblebee copes up when bumbling-teenager-master-with-uber-hot-girlfriend decides to leave for college without him and renamed the damn thing Revenge of the Pollen and I wouldn’t care less.

It’s still a great movie.

Okay, so Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen left audiences with several dumbfounded moments that led to unanswered post-movie questions. My take: Have you ever seen Nowitzki shoot from the low blocks? He’s an agile 7-footer with a pretty good handle so why can’t he drop-step his way to the hoop? And why does he love lofting triples too much?

Get it? That’s what makes him great. A 7-footer with a rare feathery touch that can knock triples like a guard. What makes Revenge of the Fallen great? How many movies have been made about Optimus Prime? Megatron? Mudflap? Skids? Soundwave? Arcee? Ravage?

Right now, you can line Nowitzki up with other greats such as Kobe Bryant, LeBron James and Kevin Garnett. Players who have only one MVP trophy. Thus far. Just as you can line the new Transformers movie up beside every great movie filmed 2003 onwards in that they aren’t in the American Film Institute’s 100 Greatest Movies of All Time. Yet.

Okay, it doesn’t follow. Neither does the logic of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

But the moment Starscream encouraged Megatron to retreat, and the Lord Decepticon backed off with “this is far from over,” you still had to whoop it up in giddy anticipation of Transformers 3, because of the leftover fun you had watching Revenge of the Fallen.

poster

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Responses

  1. i love it, too. who cares about bad reviews? forget about mind-boggling plots. i paid more than a hundred pesos for this for pure entertainment.

  2. hm. just for this i might just watch it. ~downloaded, of course. lol.

    i mean it’s the same thing about night at the museum 2? EVERYBODY said it was awful, but then i watched it a couple of nights ago, and drea and i were like, THAT wasn’t so bad at all.

  3. Mas gusto ko yung una. Nawala na yung sense of awe dito sa ROTF, hehehe…

  4. yeah… liked the first one better too. hehehehe.


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